Top 10 Rules for Valentine’s Day

Do you just big red, puffy heart Valentine’s Day or do you think Cupid’s Stupid? Regardless of where you weigh in on the V-Day meter, these rules apply:

1) Requires a card, does not have to be Hallmark or even American Greetings. Extra points for handmade Valentine’s Day cards. By the way, romantic trumps funny on Valentine’s Day.
2) Please no expensive roses. If you absolutely must send flowers, go the exotic hot house route.
3) Absolutely no candy in a heart-shaped box. [I do like those little bitty red-hots, though.]
4) No plush toys unless the recipient is under five-years-old. This includes any stuffed bears with cute sayings on their t-shirts that may be advertised on the radio. No stuffed Build-A-Anythings, either.
5) Romantic dinners at home are fabulous. Overpriced romantic dinner at a stuffy restaurant with a pretentious waiter is not fabulous. I never voted for John Edwards and he turned out to be quite the heel, but I always liked the story that he and his wife celebrated their anniversary at Wendy’s because that’s where they celebrated their first anniversary. How about making dinner together for just the two of you? [Click here for the At Your Service special Valentine’s Dinner special! Even a novice cook can pull off our 5-course gourmet dinner! By the way, sign up for our monthly newsletter and we’ll give you a 20% discount.]
6) Better to give nothing than to resort to a ceramic mug with red hearts on it. It reeks of a late purchase at Walgreens. In fact, if you’re tempted to shop in a drugstore for Valentine’s Day, stop yourself.
7) Do not wear red or pink or a sweater with appliquéd hearts on it to the office on Valentine’s Day. Theme wear is always in poor taste, regardless of the holiday.
8 ) If you’re a woman, you MUST reciprocate. The reason most men really hate Valentine’s Day is that it’s so focused on what they have to do for the weaker sex. Ladies, we can’t have it both ways. We can’t stomp our feet for equal rights and then turn around and wait for our men to shower us with gifts. When I say reciprocate, all the above rules apply—but even more so. Absolutely no flowers, stuffed animals, or chocolate. Run, don’t walk, past the boxer shorts with hearts on them. Instead, look for mid-priced gadgets, tickets to sporting events, or maybe a movie with lots of car chases in it. At Your Service has a great Computer Geek basket, or we’ll do a custom gift basket for you.
9) If you don’t have a significant other, it’s a rule that you must do something nice for yourself. Buy yourself something frivolous and unnecessary. You deserve it.
10) If you tell your significant other not to get you anything…mean it! Assure him/her over and over that you mean it. Then, do not go out and buy him/her a gift . And of course, do not hold it against him/her when he/she doesn’t give you anything.

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